We hope everyone enjoyed our little contest and took it in the spirit it was offered – a playful reminder that the internet is more than an app or service or bits of content. After years of debate over and discussion of the issue of “net neutrality,” we would hope that all sides recognize that it takes a village of app, service, content and network providers to keep the internet humming along. Here at AT&T we are working and investing and innovating to provide seamless connectivity so that our customers can access whatever legal content, app or service they want, when and where they want it.
Ok, now onto the good stuff. First, we want to give a shout out to all those who took the time to enter the contest. Following are five entries, which were in the running for best embracing the essence of our contest, and are deserving of honorable mentions:
– A balloon is not the rubber, but the air contained inside it – so we shouldn’t mind if they’re in charge of the rubber.
– Arteries are not tubular masses of tissue, but simply blood…making its way around your body …in an orderly fashion…somehow.
– A toilet is not the porcelain bowl, it’s just the other crap inside it.
– [To borrow from Laurie Anderson:] It’s not the bullet that kills you; it’s the hole.
– A jelly doughnut is not the pastry on the outside, but simply the jelly within. Which is why I have an entire jar of jelly doughnuts in the fridge.
After many hours of deliberation – and under the watchful eye of legal counsel – our esteemed panel of judges has anointed Michael Hurwitz and his roller coaster the winner of the Free Press Contest for Excellence in Nonsensical Abstractions.
– A roller coaster is not the track, cars, gears, electricity, and safety systems, but the collective sensory experiences of the passengers riding it.